A Thousand Cuts: Healing the Hidden Scars of Late Diagnosed ADHD Women
This is my story, as a late diagnosed ADHD women, who never understood why I always felt like too much—and somehow still not enough.
I talked too much, shared too much, moved too much. My handwriting was a mess. I was called too nice, too emotional, too loud, too distracted—too everything.
It wasn't until my ADHD diagnosis that it all started to make sense. By then, the damage had been done in a thousand subtle ways.
What I needed all my life wasn't correction—it was understanding, knowledge and practical tools to help daily.
And what I've learned is this: other ADHD women of a similar ago who are late diagnosed or just finding out, will get it.
If these issues are not addressed in this manner then ADHD-ers will carry these invisible wounds that don't show up in scans or charts. I wrote this poem to give late diagnosed ADHD women, like myself, a much needed voice.
My Poem For ADHD Women Everywhere: A Thousand Cuts
You don't see the thousand cuts.
The quiet ones. The deep ones.
The ones I got for being "too much,"
Or not enough.
For spacing out. For speaking up.
For feeling things too strongly
Or not at all.
You don't see the thousand times
I tried to make sense of it all—
In classrooms, in family rooms,
In workplaces where I smiled
While bleeding silently.
You don't see the thousand masks I wore.
How well I hid the spinning thoughts,
The tangled feelings,
The shame, the noise, the grief.
You don't hear the thousand whispers
I told myself to keep going:
"You're fine."
"Just focus."
"Try harder."
"Don't cry."
And now—when I speak
When I hide behind my hands
When I tremble and can't explain—
I need you to know:
It's not just today's pain.
It's the echo of a thousand cuts
That never had a voice.
So if I am not looking at you
Look closer.
If I turn away,
Stay with me.
Help me learn I'm safe enough
To feel
To be
To heal
Help From Someone Who Gets It
It's so important to work with someone who truly gets ADHD—and Jamie Vasilyan at ADDvantage Hypnotherapy does. He not only understands the day-to-day challenges, but helps you grow through them on a deep, subconscious level.
But it's also a conscious process. With Jamie, you gain practical tools for daily life and insight that lead to lasting change. His approach helps you connect the dots, understand yourself more fully, and begin to heal in ways that truly matter.
I eventually realized that the traits I had always seen as just "quirky," "flighty," or "too much"—and at times, even brilliant—were actually shaped by my experience as a late diagnosed ADHD women. That insight was transformative.
Sometimes, simply recognizing that a thought, feeling, or behaviour is a symptom—not a character flaw—can be the beginning of real healing for ADHD women. Awareness creates space for change. And compassion replaces shame.
Expanding My Toolbox With ADHD Hypnosis
One day at work, my boss said, "April, you catch the first part of what I say, then lose the rest." Ouch. It wasn't said kindly, but the worst part was — she was right.
It wasn't until I was diagnosed with ADHD that I remembered that comment and now it made sense. That moment of clarity was both painful and liberating.
I realized focus wasn't something I lacked because I was lazy, careless or less intelligent. It was something my brain had been fighting to hold onto all along.
ADHD Hypnosis and coaching really helps not only with understanding my experience as an ADHD women more deeply, but also with the practicalities of life.
(If you're new to ADHD Hypnosis, why not check out The Ultimate Guide To ADHD Hypnosis to learn more.)
After being introduced to The Magic Notepad while working with Jamie, I feel like I have a helpful tool in my pocket that I can pull out as needed. (I mean that metaphorically, not literally, by the way!) It's a simple but powerful form of what Jamie calls "Mental Software":
It's easy to practise. You simply breathe in through the nose, and on the out breath I say:
"1 ...Focus
1...Focus
1...Focus"
And just like that, my awareness narrows in — gently, but effectively. It helps me absorb information better, stay present, and show up fully in everything from listening to lectures to playing a sharper game of pickleball.
As a women with late diagnosed ADHD, hypnosis and coaching has been a game changer; it can help me find calm inside the chaos. Deep focus isn't a stranger anymore and it is reassuring to have this go to when I want to settle into a topic or activity.
Final Thoughts
I'm so grateful for what I've learned, and I hope sharing this helps other ADHD women find clarity—for themselves or for someone they love. If it lessens even one emotional scar caused by misunderstanding ADHD, it's worth it.
Remember: Healing begins when understanding replaces judgment.
To every woman out there discovering ADHD later in life: I want to let you know that the voice that says you're broken is coming from a place of fear and misunderstanding. The truth is, you're not broken but brilliant. And with the right tools, things can and do get better!
Love April
(A late diagnosed women with ADHD and Neurodivergent advocate)
If you'd like to learn the MagicNotePad Hypnosis technique referred to in April's blog, then feel free to sign up to Self Hypnosis For ADHD Made Easy and stay in touch with the latest news and content at ADDvantage Hypnotherapy...